HUGE RED SOX TRADE

Actually, there is no trade. But since I have your attention, why not read the wonderful article below? Sorry for the deceit.

With the 4pm EST Saturday trade deadline quickly approaching, there have already been a few big name players on the move to potential contenders. A few of the moves have been head-scratching, notably the Diamondbacks weak return for Dan Haren from the Angels. Other than Haren, current and future impact players such as Joe Saunders, Cliff Lee, Sean Gallagher, Chris Ray, Bengie Molina, Russell Branyan, and Conor Jackson have changed teams to bolster playoff contenders or fill out rosters of teams in "rebuilding" years. Regardless of where you look, trade rumors swirl around big names like Prince Fielder, Roy Oswalt, Ted Lilly, Joakim Soria, Adam Dunn, and Jayson Werth to name a few. But realistically, only two or three big names could end up switching teams within the next five days. The reality of the trade deadline is a myriad of mediocre players being overpaid for, with a few steals here and there. But in a fantasy world, below are trades that SHOULD happen, for the sake of the contenders, pretenders, and the Pittsburgh Pirates (always in a class of their own).

1. SF Giants acquire Corey Hart from Brewers - The Giants lead the NL wild card race. They are only 3 back of San Diego for the division. Rookie Buster Posey cannot remain the staple of the team's offense, and 1B Aubrey Huff leads the team in every major offensive category. An outfield that consists of Burrell/Torres/Rowand would have looked great in 2003, but in 2010 the lack of production isn't playoff worthy. Milwaukee is 9.5 back in the WC, 8.5 back in the division, and admittedly needs payroll trimming to at least make an attempt to keep Prince Fielder. The trade makes sense for both teams regardless of the players exchanged from SF.
2. Twins acquire Ted Lilly from the Cubs - Another season, another Chicago disappointment. They need to rebuild, and they can start with a trade deadline fire-sale. The Twins surely need another quality SP behind Baker/Liriano/Slowey/Pavano, and Lilly brings veteran experience and innings-eating ability immediately. The Twins are only a game back of the team from the South Side for the AL Central, with the heavy hitting Tigers breathing down their back. Trading for Lilly would give Minnesota a quality 5 rotation heading into another tight division race.
3. Reds acquire Roy Oswalt from the Astros - Cinci was supposed to be a contender a few years down the road, but they have been one of this year's surprise teams. Their extremely young rotation has been stellar, and they have the heralded Aroldis Chapman pitching decently in AAA. But they have fallen a game back of St. Louis for the Central, and with rumors of the Cards going hard after Oswalt, Cinci needs to step in and do whatever it takes to block the trade. Adding Oswalt solidifies a rotation that will need to limit its starters innings, and also adds a veteran that can compete far better than Bronson Arroyo.
4. Rockies acquire Lance Berkman from the Astros - So maybe he doesn't fit their payroll, but adding money will sweeten the deal. Berkman wants to play for a contender, the Rox are only 4 games out of the wild card, and Jason Giambi isn't exactly an elite first baseman anymore. Imagine Berkman at Coors Field. Enough said.
5. Red Sox acquire Scott Podsednik & Joakim Soria from KC - The Sox outfield has been in shambles all year. Podsednik is a cheap outfielder who can get on base, fill in at all three OF spots, and an excellent runner off the bench come playoff time. Think of him as a Dave Roberts type. Soria is exactly the type of bullpen help the Sox desperately need, and although executing this trade will be unbelievably costly for the Sox, they have plenty of trade pieces in the minors. They can certainly find a way to send a package along the lines of Nava/Doubront/Reddick/Rizzo/Vitek, including any or all of these prospects and/or throw-ins.